ARGH!!!

ARGH!!!!

So fed up with this diabetes rubbish. I was hoping for a nice relaxing Easter break down in Bournemouth. Did I get it? Hell no!! Blood levels all over the place still. Ranged from 16.8mmol/L to 4.3 mmol/L in a matter of hours and everything in between. Yesterday was the worst when I got home. 15.4mmol/L before we left for home. almost 7 hours later 2.6 mmol/L !!!! Then back up to 13 mmol/L two hours later. Then last night at 3am 3.6mmol/L and NO HYPO SYMPTOMS which has really scared me! I always used to be able to tell when I was going low but not this time, even when I was 2.6 mmol/L earlier that day I felt it.

I'm am getting so depressed again about my weight and blood levels, I feel like I'm getting nothing right. I seem to just put on weight no matter what I do. I had NO Easter eggs and only eat healthy balanced meals that are smaller portions than I used to eat. I do different forms of exercise everyday, I don't snack in between meals. I just don't know what else I can do!

I want to start a family, I want to be able to live a normal life, I want to have a job and provide for my family & pay for my wedding. I don't want anything fancy or out of my league, just the basics. WHY DOES IT FEEL SO HARD!!!!

And to top it all off I am STILL waiting for my first appointment with the new diabetic clinic!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!