My insulin intake dropped nearly 60% and I was having alot of hypo's. Now it seems my insulin intake has risen above and beyond what it was before!
I am really struggling to cope as I thought I was doing so well. I carb count every meal, I watch my portion sizes, I don't snack unless hypo and yet the dreaded Diabetes Fairy still casts her wicked spells on me when ever she feels like it. She seems to like me today, so far bloods have been under 10. This might be due to the fact I got up early and went outside and did gardening for 4 hours but you never know. Things may have just settled down for me for now.... I can only hope!
Proper fed up! Its hard to have the motivation to carry on when what you are doing doesn't work. I feel so depressed by everything, not just the diabetes. Its just easier to blame the diabetes I think.
I'm still trying to loose weight but have lost my motivation there too. I started by eating less,eating healthier though I never really eaten unhealthy - just the odd treat now and then, doing varied exercise and yet I still seem to put on weight!
I have my 21st birthday coming up on May 5th & a big party to celebrate on the 8th but I can't find a dress I want in my size!!I am now a size 24, my biggest ever. I'm not afraid to admit it though I am ashamed. I think insulin has a big part to paly in the weight gain. I was fitting into size 14 clothes last summer. Then I started to take my diabetes seriously and my weight slowly crept back up. I want to be back down to a size 14 for my wedding next year! You'd think I'd have alot of motivation there to loose the weight and I suppose I do. But when you feel like nothing you are doing is right, nothing you are doing is making a difference it is very hard to carry on with it.
I respect anyone who can diet and exercise and follow through with it and stick at it. I'm just not one of those people I'm afraid. I will try harder and I WANT to stick with it but I have always been the type of person that, if something got hard or complicated or wasn't working I'd stop, maybe try a different way or stop altogether. Just depends what it is.
Life is a balancing act. I'm not going to drop it yet. Today I hope I'm turning a corner in my life!
On another note, I've been reading through some great blogs recently. A few I'd recommend are :
Diabotics ,Talking Blood Glucose, Instruction Not Included ,Poems for Active Diabetics and Type 2 - A personal Journey .
I'm going to drop Diabetes Support a link in too because without the people on there, I wouldn't be strong enough to continue looking after myself with regards to my diabetes. I will never have enough words to thank them enough.
(Image from Microsoft ClipArt)
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